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I finally got to see the movie, ‘The Social Network’ last week. I liked it a lot. It’s the story of the creator of Facebook, and how that website that most of us can’t remember a time when it didn’t exist, came about.
One of the reasons that I liked it is that it made me think of how we identify ourselves in all kinds of ways. When I was growing up, perhaps because we had little money, perhaps because my parents were keen on recycling, or perhaps because they knew how quickly I wore holes in my trousers (pick whichever one is least offensive to my parents), most of my clothes came from a charity shop. I still remember regular trips to Oxfam to get me some more jeans, and my hoping that someone had inexplicably donated some Levi 501s that were in good condition and in my size. (You also have to remember that this was before Tescos clothes or Primark – back in those days you actually had to pay how much the clothes had cost to make. And, because they were largely made in western countries, and people refused to work for 18 hours a day for a bowl of rice, clothes were expensive.)
What this meant was that I think as a teenager I unconsciously sought to get my identity from somewhere else other than the things that I owned. This was because I didn’t own much and what I did wasn’t that good. This was a great lesson for me, which I soon forgot.
Having a beard for the past twelve months (and for six months it being unusually large) has been a similar experience. If Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp want a silly beard they get away with and still look acceptable, if somewhat eccentric, to most women. I don’t have the kudos of those two though. I often feel a little apologetic about the way that I look. So if I did get my sense of identity from how I look that then my identity would probably be something other than that which I might like. So another good lesson learnt, but one that I have no doubt I will soon forget.
We can focus on what we own, or what we look like, or how much power we have and how respected we are, or how much money we have (or it can be the negative of all those things – how much money we don’t have, etc.)
So, as I was watching the film of how the youngest billionaire came to be a billionaire, I was reminded of something Pope John XXIII was alleged to have said, “Strive to be unknown.”
Nowadays I think I tend to get my sense of identity from how much I know. This is not always helpful either and reminds me of a quote by Jesus. ‘…whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.’
